“You only get a fraction of a glimpse
at a fragment of Reality.”
~ Meditation Message, 6/19/17
The key to meditation is simple: keep coming back. That’s it. Over and over and over again. Back to your breath, back to your focused thought, back to sensations in your body, back to the affirmation or mantra, back to moments; brief glimpses of stillness, awareness, pure presence. Keep coming back and don’t give up. Simple- but not effortless.
When I meditate it is usually on the sensations of my breath in my body; the air flowing in and out at the rims of my nostrils; air flowing over my vocal chords; air filling the space below my clavicles and between my shoulder blades; air expanding and contracting my rib cage and side-bodies; air filling up my belly like a balloon, subtly stretching the skin over my navel, wrapping around my waist and lower back.
The Latin word for breath (spiritus) is also the word for Spirit. Focusing on the breath as Spirit is my preferred method of meditation, but there are many, many others. I usually sit for about 15-30 minutes (or less depending on my mental state and energy level). “Even a quick dip in the pool gets you wet,” as Deepak Chopra has said about meditation. In other words, as with most things in life that are good for us, some is always better than none.
Inevitably, and quite relentlessly, a steady barrage of thoughts comes rushing in, right on cue…every single time, no exceptions; pulling me out of my focus and away from potential stillness, awareness, or (if I’m lucky) rare momentary bliss. This is perfectly normal. It is what yogis and mystics have been experiencing for thousands of years. It is not, as the voice of the ego mind would have me believe, a sign that I suck at meditating and should give up. It is a sign that it’s working, and I’m doing it right. My ego mind has taken notice of my efforts to be present and wants me to abandon my practice and any chance I have of experiencing what Eckhart Tolle refers to as The Now.
Fortunately, there is another, quieter Voice inside I can clearly hear, calling me over and over back to myself, back to my breath, and back to the present moment. The message is simple (Truth is always simple), and the Voice sounds like my own- and yet it doesn’t seem to come from me, but rather to me. “Come back to me, My Darling. Come on back.”
Hearing this Voice always feels like being gently and sweetly led back home. It doesn’t criticize or shame me. It doesn’t make me feel a like a struggling mess; an amateur who will never get it right. Those voices exist too, but I know well enough now not to get sucked in by them (for too long), not to confuse them with The Real, with my True Identity.
The Truth of who I am is in the returning; the conscious choice to remain with the practice even when it feels challenging or hopeless. The Truth of myself is revealed in those moments when I hear that still, small Voice inside, re-minding me there is a much simpler, more compassionate way that doesn’t require so much effort, tension and criticism.
All I have to do is sink back into the loving support and awareness of that Voice, and It meets me right where I am regardless of what appears to be going on internally and externally. It carries me for another little while, until I’m blown off course once again by my own personal playlist of fear; anxiety, anger, overwhelm, judgment, hopelessness, despair. Just as inevitably though, It searches me out and calls to me, sweetly- without judgment (there is no judgment other than the punishing ego mind). This Voice calls to you, too- to all of us. “Come back to me, My Darling. Come on Back.”